I did it. For 31 straight days I managed to think, feel, and write about something positive for at least a few minutes each day. I have to say I’m a bit proud of myself for doing so. I honestly didn’t know if I had it in me. I didn’t know if I could manage to not let my negative, beastly side show itself even once in these daily writing and offerings. I’m proud I was able to beat the beast back and keep him at bay, even if only temporarily, in order to instead allow myself to contemplate, envision, and grasp hold of positive emotions without feeling strange or disingenuous about it. I’m better for living these true moments filled with optimism.
I have no idea how this experiment will play itself out over the remaining 11 months of 2012, and I have no idea if I’ll indeed be permanently changed by this endeavor. I can say, however, that I’m pleasantly surprised at the results so far. I’m pleasantly surprised at how forcing myself to stop wallowing and whining and wishing and hoping and plotting and swerving and generally gravitating to misery has made me feel more enthusiastic for living, breathing, exploring, and welcoming the next moment, not fearing it or wondering if I’ll regret it.
Hey, I realize I’m not exactly tearing down the Berlin Wall here, but living a more purposeful life tinged with a positive vibe has been special so far. January is done. Now onto the rest of my days.
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