Day 156; No Such Thing As Halfway Crooks

Here’s the thing about losing your temper and losing control: I’m all in favor of it—as long as it doesn’t happen perpetually and as long as no one really gets hurt. Otherwise, I see great benefits in losing your wig once in a while.

I may be alone in this thinking, but letting people see, hear, and feel that you’re coming apart at the hinges has its benefits.

1.) It lets them know you have a breaking point, and if you continue to push me toward that ledge and beyond, you’re going to have to deal with some ramifications, and they might not work out in your best interest.

2.) Going loco periodically allows you to hit the Reset button and start anew. That’s a must as far as I’m concerned. Acquire too much baggage or allow too much to go on unchecked or do too much enabling or carry too much of the weight and eventually your back starts to break. Better to let the load crash temporarily, freak the hell out, regroup, and pick the load back up and carry on than to be completely broken and never be able to carry the load again.

3.) Letting pent up anger blow with great force shows those involved, in so many words, that you’re not a sucker. You won’t be played. You won’t be disrespected. You will only succumb to so much pushing, prodding, needling, and shenanigans before you engage. And once engaged, fully engage. Don’t half-ass your commitment to enter the battle that’s been brought to you. You didn’t ask for this conflict, but you’re willing to finish it. To quote one of my favorite lyrics from Mobb Deep, there’s no such thing as halfway crooks.

Now, all that said, let me qualify what I’ve written up to this point.

1.) I don’t endorse losing your temper or control right from the get-go. Numerous attempts to reason with those involved should be completed first. My experience is that this stage will be met with varying degrees of success. Some people won’t respond to reason. Some people simply are too ignorant to understand reason. Some people just can’t see the big picture and can only process one emotion or one situation or one idea at a time. Complex constructs aren’t their forte. But some people can, and it’s better to investigate this possibility first than assume it doesn’t exist.

2.) I don’t endorse physical demonstrations of losing temper and control. Things very well may come to that, but avoid it if at all possible. It’s demeaning, it’s permanent, and it’s the low common denominator. Brain power is where it’s at.

3.) Avoid belittling, name-calling, and personality assassinations. You can’t take them back, and once that stuff is out there in the air, it stays there for a long time. If fact, that stuff never really goes away. If you’re lucky, it will fade into the background, but it’s still there, and it will be remembered, and you’ll have a hard time defending it in any way in which you come out looking noble or honorable.

4.) I’m a big fan of sarcasm, but use it in small doses and consider your audience. Some people don’t understand the finer nuisances of sarcasm and will interpret your attempts as being literal. You’ll spend more time explaining that what you said was meant to be sarcastic to such people than is really worth your time, and in the end, they still probably won’t get it.

5.) Be ready to apologize, even if you don’t feel like it. You most likely owe one, it shows you’ve thought about the situation with some level of depth, and it indicates that while you may be somewhat of an ass you’re not a complete ass.

Finally, let me say that all this advice should be taken with a big scoop of salt. I’m in no way a virtue of remaining above the fray or always playing fair or even running through stages 1 through 5 before losing it. I live a complicated life. I wake up some days with buttons popping off my shirt. Still, I firmly believe God gave us humility and forgiveness and regret to counterbalance our periods of white-hot anger.