I sincerely am struggling these days. I'm trying to play the good soldier and weather on, but it's getting harder and harder. Every day that the presidential election gets closer, I find myself having to work just a little harder than the day before to wrap up my wicked little tongue tightly and securely and keep it from spouting off at will.
I know it's my right to say whatever the hell comes to my mind, and frankly most of what would come flowing out would be "left-wing," "liberal," and democratic in nature. So take that for what' it's worth. But I'm trying to walk the fine line and keep my opinions in check. I'm trying to be responsible and not antagonistic. I'm trying not to be confrontational or reactionary or get sucked into the traps the "opposition" is setting for me. But it's hard, man. It's hard. It's hard watching it from both sides of the divide.
There was a time when I lived and breathed politics. I loved the game. I loved the fight. I loved the ability to seek out a candidate who I wanted to back and then get to work championing his or her cause. I loved the process. I loved the system. There was a time when I even would make the argument that I truly believed most politicians had the people's best interests always at heart. Always. They always did what was best for the people they represented. Always. Without question. There was a time when my energy and enthusiasm for the political machine was without limits.
No more. I've grown tired and weary. I hate to admit as much, but it's true. I'm tired of the pessimism. I'm tired of the half-truths. I'm tired of the games and wasted time and money and energy. I'm tired of the facades and charades. I'm tired of the blind following the blind. I'm tired of the ill feelings and bad blood and lack of good will. I'm tired of the low blows and hurdles and hoops. I'm tired of rhetoric. The stereotypes. I'm tired of the hidden and blatant racism. I'm tired of the rich vs. poor. I'm just tired of it all.
I'll continue to vote, and I'll continue to inform myself so that my vote is a qualified one made with the best of intentions. I won't abandon my duty to educate myself and arm myself with all the pertinent data. ALL THE PERTINENT DATA. I won't stop investigating and digging and tunneling a little deeper than the top headlines to find the real bits of truth. That's the least I can for all that I've been given living in this country. It's the least you should do, too. But I won't allow myself any longer to be baited into meaningless debates. I won't allow myself to fall prey to those who only spew the party line but know nothing beyond that. To those who don't go deeper than the surface, but rather rely on merely what their neighbor or spouse or Fox News or MSNBC tells them is true. I won't walk down paths of arguments with those who don't recognize historical facts. When I read public declarations from friends and family about why candidate X is the savior, I won't pour my heart and soul into discounting why he's really not. I won't take my precise time to take what you say personally.
Unfortunately, I've come to recognize I live in an increasingly more hateful, divided, and disconnected country. I recognize there's an odd need at foot to pick sides and go to battle, tearing at the throat, scratching at the eyes, and breaking bones--even if many of those doing battle are ill-equipped to wage war truthfully and honestly. I'll respect your opinion sincerely and honestly--if it's been developed and grown sincerely and honestly. Otherwise, I don't think I can afford to recognize the ignorant any longer, if only for my own sanity.
I have to somehow remain positive about this political animal running free now, this beast that continues to grow more nasty every day. If not, I fear I just might turn my back on that animal once and for all. I can feel the urge to do just that growing increasingly stronger each day. I don't want that to occur. I want to take part in this system because I believe in this system. I believe this system still has potential.
But without a doubt, the system is flawed, and I can't pretend it's not. The system is full of minds that are flawed, and I can pretend they are not. They system is full of landmines and trick doors, and I can't pretend there are many who would willingly step on them and walk through without question. I'm fairly well convinced that I can't continue to engage politically with such people. I don't have the inclination any longer. I have to concentrate on being and becoming a better citizen. For me, that means fostering what's right and changing what isn't. That starts with myself. That means solidifying my beliefs, not working so damn hard to make everyone else aware of them or agree with them. That means less counterattacks and more progression. That means recognizes what meaningful vs. what's just more cluttering and nonsense polluting the air.
I know it's my right to say whatever the hell comes to my mind, and frankly most of what would come flowing out would be "left-wing," "liberal," and democratic in nature. So take that for what' it's worth. But I'm trying to walk the fine line and keep my opinions in check. I'm trying to be responsible and not antagonistic. I'm trying not to be confrontational or reactionary or get sucked into the traps the "opposition" is setting for me. But it's hard, man. It's hard. It's hard watching it from both sides of the divide.
There was a time when I lived and breathed politics. I loved the game. I loved the fight. I loved the ability to seek out a candidate who I wanted to back and then get to work championing his or her cause. I loved the process. I loved the system. There was a time when I even would make the argument that I truly believed most politicians had the people's best interests always at heart. Always. They always did what was best for the people they represented. Always. Without question. There was a time when my energy and enthusiasm for the political machine was without limits.
No more. I've grown tired and weary. I hate to admit as much, but it's true. I'm tired of the pessimism. I'm tired of the half-truths. I'm tired of the games and wasted time and money and energy. I'm tired of the facades and charades. I'm tired of the blind following the blind. I'm tired of the ill feelings and bad blood and lack of good will. I'm tired of the low blows and hurdles and hoops. I'm tired of rhetoric. The stereotypes. I'm tired of the hidden and blatant racism. I'm tired of the rich vs. poor. I'm just tired of it all.
I'll continue to vote, and I'll continue to inform myself so that my vote is a qualified one made with the best of intentions. I won't abandon my duty to educate myself and arm myself with all the pertinent data. ALL THE PERTINENT DATA. I won't stop investigating and digging and tunneling a little deeper than the top headlines to find the real bits of truth. That's the least I can for all that I've been given living in this country. It's the least you should do, too. But I won't allow myself any longer to be baited into meaningless debates. I won't allow myself to fall prey to those who only spew the party line but know nothing beyond that. To those who don't go deeper than the surface, but rather rely on merely what their neighbor or spouse or Fox News or MSNBC tells them is true. I won't walk down paths of arguments with those who don't recognize historical facts. When I read public declarations from friends and family about why candidate X is the savior, I won't pour my heart and soul into discounting why he's really not. I won't take my precise time to take what you say personally.
Unfortunately, I've come to recognize I live in an increasingly more hateful, divided, and disconnected country. I recognize there's an odd need at foot to pick sides and go to battle, tearing at the throat, scratching at the eyes, and breaking bones--even if many of those doing battle are ill-equipped to wage war truthfully and honestly. I'll respect your opinion sincerely and honestly--if it's been developed and grown sincerely and honestly. Otherwise, I don't think I can afford to recognize the ignorant any longer, if only for my own sanity.
I have to somehow remain positive about this political animal running free now, this beast that continues to grow more nasty every day. If not, I fear I just might turn my back on that animal once and for all. I can feel the urge to do just that growing increasingly stronger each day. I don't want that to occur. I want to take part in this system because I believe in this system. I believe this system still has potential.
But without a doubt, the system is flawed, and I can't pretend it's not. The system is full of minds that are flawed, and I can pretend they are not. They system is full of landmines and trick doors, and I can't pretend there are many who would willingly step on them and walk through without question. I'm fairly well convinced that I can't continue to engage politically with such people. I don't have the inclination any longer. I have to concentrate on being and becoming a better citizen. For me, that means fostering what's right and changing what isn't. That starts with myself. That means solidifying my beliefs, not working so damn hard to make everyone else aware of them or agree with them. That means less counterattacks and more progression. That means recognizes what meaningful vs. what's just more cluttering and nonsense polluting the air.
No comments:
Post a Comment