Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Day 290: The Big Blow Off


There’s nothing I enjoy more than watching some dude get the big blow off from a woman who doesn’t have time for his painfully obvious, moronic, ass-kissing, mack daddy-lacking, pathetic ways. I mean I truly love a good kiss off just about more than anything. The visual is so sweet.

From start to end, this scenario is a thing of beauty. First, Mr. Smooth lays down his go-to line. He follows that up with his ever-so enticing smile, maybe even a delightful little chuckle to show just how hip he is. But just when he thinks he’s in, he’s not. Instead, he’s left shattered by the savvy, wiser-than-thou woman who delivers a swift dropkick to his oversized, ego-filled head. Boom!!! Smack!!! Thud!!! Dude is left lying in a pool of his own lost pride. What makes this even better is when she walks away slowly, confident, unaffected, all the while sporting a straight-up “I’m ignoring the hell out of you right now because that’s the only action any sane woman can take.”

What truly makes watching one of these scenes go down is when the dude is someone I’ve had to tolerate, put up with, and watch pollute my environment for longer than I ever could have wished for.

I realize my loathing for such overbearing, domineering, “look at me” men probably isn’t the most positive vibe I can offer up, but truly, without even an ounce of exaggeration, I can say it does my heart and soul great good when an idiot like this, someone who deserves the beat down, gets the beat down and he can do nothing about it but sit in the mess he’s created and pretend it didn’t just happen. I wish I could witness such an occurrence every day.

Today’s was a beauty, though, so I’ll hold on to it as long as possible. Who knows when it will come around again? Although, considering the vast population of knuckleheaded, chest-puffing dimwits that seem to be walking the planet, I probably won’t be waiting all that long.

I’m not sure when my disgust for this breed of male began, but I just know it hasn’t dissipated much over the years. You know the guy. He’s got an opinion for everything, and his is the only one that matters. He speaks just loud enough so that everyone can hear him, even when no is paying attention. He follows up every story told by someone else with a story of his own to top it. He’s been everywhere. He’s done everything. He hands out advice like candy on Halloween, despite most of his candy being spoiled and bitter-tasting. He too cool to acknowledge the presence of anyone who can’t benefit him directly, but he’s always cool enough to say hello to the “ladies.” But only some ladies. Only the ones he can picture himself with. Only the ones who aren’t up higher on the food chain. Only those who physically “speak” to him. This is the guy who knows he’s a white male living in a land where being a white male makes you the cream of the crop, and he’s going to ride that creamy train for as long as possible.

So, call me petty, but on this day, the most positive thing that I’ve witnessed or experienced is watching said flake get what was coming to him. Brilliant.

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