Day 351: It's The Little Things

Now, more than ever, I'm starting to realize that it's the little things with our kids that matter most. I don't think it's the life lessons they're after. It's not the Ward Cleaver moments they desire. It’s the things that don’t appear in parenting books that they remember and appreciate the most. 

I'm starting to realize that it's the self-deprivation that makes them take notice. It’s the poking fun at one’s self that hooks them and convinces them your "one of us." It’s exploring the unfamiliar with them, showing your awe and appreciation of the moment. It's presenting yourself without shields up. 

It’s letting them show you the way. 

It’s enabling them to come out on top. Take charge. Bath in the glory. 

It’s being willing to go places they don’t expect you to go. It's dancing with them, badly or otherwise. It's making yourself available when they need it, not the other way around. 

It’s making certain you don’t take yourself or your life too seriously. 

It’s not telling them that they’re a priority but showing them, repeatedly and often. 

It's adapting to their schedule as much as you expect them to adapt to yours. 

It’s recognizing your mistakes, and when you do, backing up, sizing up the mess you created, and righting the wrong. 

I'm starting to realize all this isn't as hard as maybe I've made it out to be. Maybe the pressure of being a parent doesn't stem from the parental responsibilities expected of us but from giving the responsibilities a larger platform than they deserve. 

I'm starting to realize that to really impresses my kid and make a lasting impression, I have  to focus less on what I need and want and more on what matters to them. 

Want to build up really credibility. Admit when you make a mistake and mean it. 

Want to prove to your kid how strong you are? Don't hide your weaknesses. 

Want to show your kid that you’re trustworthy? Don’t break promises. 

Want to show them you’re dependable? Be there, and be there on time. 

Want to show them that you’re a force of life? Be full of life. 

Want them to have confidence in you? Don’t be afraid to fail in front of them? 

Want to earn their respect? Show grace vs. disgust. 

Want them to hear your words? Speak with truth. 

Want them to view you in a different light? Share your past and the future you envision. 

Want to floor your kid? Ask her to go for a walk. Write her a note. Freestyle a rap on the ride to school. Ask her opinion. 

It’s the little things.

As much as I’d like to fancy myself as the “Father’s Knows Best” type, the guy that dispenses meaningful, life-altering advice with a calm, even-keeled voice, even in the most dire of situations, the guy who makes serenity fall like rain drops from heaven, the model of consistency and dependability, I'm not. Not even close. 

I’m someone who panics, fails, flails, stumbles, and disappoints. But I'm also someone who tries. Who strives. Who seeks to improve. Who works hard. Who plays. Who attempts to sooth and comfort and fulfill expectations. Someone who seeks to do the right thing, even when I’m not. I’m typical. Normal. Good and decent. Boorish and judgmental. Steady. Stubborn. Up. Down. Down. Out. Soaring. Boring. Roaring. Thoughtful and dim. Conflicted and complex. Simple and predictable. Grounded. Flighty. Patient. Irrational. Sane. Delusional. Glad. Sad. Good. Bad. 

I’m typical. 

I’m normal.

I'm starting to realize there's a lot to like about typical and normal. About being happy in the pursuit of “the little things.” 

I want to create memories. A sense of reliance. A sense of ease. Assurance. Strength. Joy. 

I’m realizing that I'm serious too often for my own liking, and I swim against the flow just as frequently. But I'm also realizing I’m smart enough to recognize opportunities when they present themselves. 

Now more than ever, it’s the little things that I’m convinced are worth keeping an eye out for and seizing.