Monday, March 26, 2012

Day 85: Nicknames

I'm pretty fanatical about nicknames. I love giving them. Don't know why. Never really thought about it much until this weekend while I was playing basketball in a tournament. I had a guy named Mike on my team, but for some reason, without any forethought or provocation, I kept calling him Michael throughout the games. To my knowledge, no one else calls him that. (Not that "Michael" is exactly a huge leap from Mike, but you get the point.) I've just always liked calling people by something slightly different from the rest of the crowd. Or maybe light years different.

The earliest nickname I can remember gifting someone was my friend Tony. We grew up together, were in the same classroom from kindergarten on, and by the power of Facebook, I still keep up with him today. Must have been around second grade or so, I started calling him Wiener for some reason. It's been so long ago, I don't have clue one why I dubbed him as such, but I did. Ever since, whenever we cross paths, that's what I call him. If I were to see him right now, it would be "Wiener, how have you been? You look great," and so on. I'm guessing he wasn't exactly thrilled with the title then and probably isn't today, but once I've stuck a nickname to you, it's yours.

A lot of my nicknames aren't really all that creative. In a lot of instances, I just add a "y" or "ie to the person in question's name. So, Clark because Clarky. George becomes "Georgie."

I have been so bold as to make the leap from Mikah to Mike to Mikey. Other times, I actually put a little thought into it. Shayne became El Shayno, a mix of Shayne and El Nino, which is fitting if you know Shayne. Sometimes, though, I just get lazy and do the first letter of the person's name thing. So, Daryl becomes D. Della become D, too. Ella becomes E. Chris becomes C (or Chrissy, depending on the mood I'm in.) Elsewhere, I just rip off something that's already been created. Thus, Kevin becomes Special K.

I do really branch out once in a while, though, and go for a major leap. These are my favorites. Thus, Tim becomes G-money or G$ for short. Ella has always been Bean. Mikah has always been Boo. Maybe those last two aren't major leaps, but they're special to me.

Some nicknames I can't claim as having been the one who bestowed them, but I still love them. In other cases, I may have been the perpetrator, but I just can't remember. My dad's friends called him Catfish. Brett was Rambis (so fitting if you saw him play basketball). Brett was also Captain (which was somewhat fitting if you saw him leap from the top of the stairs to the bottom). Chris has always been E.C. to me, although he also goes by Rat to some. Gary was Erkel (a life-action impersonation that no one should witness). George has always been Jorge. Ray has been Ramon. Rubi is Rubicon or Rube-eye or RJ. Lauck was Lauckababy. Growing up, my cousin Roger was Rog (pronounced rouge; a personal favorite but one I can't claim). Scot is Snakulus (another favorite). Steve is Plug. Tami is Tamra (said with an air of pretension).

At some point, I just started calling everyone "kid,"and that works fine for me. I do it so much, it's become a habit. Probably drives some people batty. I have that affect on people.

The all-time favorite nickname that came from my mind is One With Trees. Think golf, a severe slice, and a man named Daryl and you get the picture. It's his Native American name, sort of like Dances With Wolves or Man Called Horse. Beyond being creative (if I say so myself) and unique, it's total appropriate. No matter the hole, no matter the course, no matter the conditions, Daryl is One With Trees. Or at least his ball is. Sometimes this works in his favor and his ball with take a fortuitous bounce back into the middle of the fairway. Other times his ball will bounce off of three trees, a bench, and branch before landing in the water. There is no predicting what will occur. He is just One With Trees.

My own nicknames, those that others have dubbed me, have include Slimfast Buddha (my all-time favorite nickname, period, and copyrighted by Randy Stoppel), Magic, Bulkster, B-dog, Flamer (not my favorite), Flamingo, Blame, Blainster, and Lord Humongous. To be accurate, Lord Humongous was self-dubbed and is my wrestler name when my kids and I enter the squared circle to face off. Most people, though, just call me B.

Everyone deserves a nickname (a good one that's positive, that is). If you don't have one, let me know. I'll be happy to oblige. Just ask, Wiener.


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