Monday, April 30, 2012

Day 120: Friends

I've been so blessed as to have a collection of really diverse, really intelligent, really compassionate, and really supportive friends throughout my life. Beyond having three lifelong friends who I know will always have my back, I've been so fortunate as to have crossed paths with widely creative and determined and motivated people. Beyond that, I've been beyond fortunate to have basked in the talents of these people. Painters. Musicians. Writers. Mechanics. Designers. Engineers. Financial wizards. Teachers. Cooks. Preachers. Gardeners. The amount of information I've learned and gleaned just being in their presence is immeasurable.

I often wonder what is it I bring to the table? What do these people get from me? I don't dwell on it, by any means, because ultimately I just believe friends are friends, and there must be some attraction that makes two people want to share conversations and observations and time. But when I stop and ponder why I've crossed paths with the particular people that I have, it makes me wonder what they took from me when we went our separate ways. I hope it was something worthwhile and equally beneficial as what they gifted me with.

I've never been someone to surround myself with only people who share the same likes and dislikes as myself. Truthfully, as long as you respect my choices and why I made them, I can pretty much tolerate any belief if you really, passionately hold it dear. Doesn't mean I agree or condone the belief, but I'll respect it. Politically alone, I have so many friends who flee for their dear lives when the topic even remotely approaches the words "Democratic" or "liberal." Religiously and spiritually, I have friends who are Catholic, Jewish, Hindu, Buddhist, atheist, and so on. Again, doesn't pose a problem. As long as you're abiding and supportive of my journey toward whatever faith means to me, we're cool.

What do I look for in a friend? Loyalty. I don't want to be lied to. I don't want to be taken advantage of. I don't want to be set aside when something better comes along. I'm looking for sincerity. I'm looking for the truth. I'm looking for someone who believes in something. For someone who cares for anything more than he or she care for himself/herself. I'm looking for decency. I'm looking for humility. I'm looking for passion. But at the end of the day, I'm looking for respect.

When I think about my friends, I think about how many good fathers and mothers there are in the lot and how many of those parents I take inspiration from. I think about how many hard workers there are, and how many of these hard workers have achieved what they did because of desire, not because of privilege. I think about how many of these people are accepting of others. I think about how many don't flinch from adversity. I think about how many have seen so much adversity and preserved. I think about the single mothers who raised good, decent children. I think about the divorced fathers who didn't abandon their kids and didn't cheat them of their time. I think about those who kicked me in the ass when I needed it. Those who challenged my notions when they were misguided. Those who saw things in myself that I didn't see. I think about those who see the world in a different, unique light, and how much I've been able to view and experience because of their visions. I think about the places we've traveled together. I think about the fears we've shared. When I think about my group of friends, I think of the countless hours I've had the opportunity to swim in emotions and education and wisdom and difficulty and tears and pain and joy.

Sincerely, if I could wish one thing for my children, it's that they collect the same type of diverse, talented, decent friends I've been able to somehow manage to collect. 

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