Day 314: Here's Thinking Of You Agent Cooper

Whenever I think of pie, which is often, I think of Agent Cooper. I then find myself wondering what he'd be doing at that very minute. Then I wonder how many pieces of pie that he had that day. I'm not sure why I wonder these things, other than I really liked how committed Agent Cooper was to pie. Well, that and I like pie. But Agent Cooper's devotion was intense, and it was a wonderful thing to witness. Mostly, though, every time I watched Agent Cooper snarfing down a big piece of cherry goodness and washing it back with a piping cup of black goodness, I wanted nothing more than to be in that diner, sitting right next to Cooper, fork in hand, eating fork by fork by forkful. Today, I thought of pie.  

Day 313: Here's To Harvey Hilbert & Veterans Everywhere

Harvey Hilbert served in the Army infantry during the Vietnam War. He was injured in battle and saw a man in his unit killed. "You know, I'm 65 years old, and I can remember clearly that young man — the color of his skin, his face, his cries," Hilbert told StoryCorps.

"You know, there's a legacy of war that lasts forever."

It seems lately, every Friday morning there's a good chance  I'm going to have a good cry before I even reach work. If you listen to NPR on Friday mornings, you probably  know why. That when "Morning Edition" features an interview from StoryCorps, and more often than not the interviews are beyond poignant and beyond moving. So moving, the tears soon start to flow. This morning, they flowed. 

If you're not listening to StoryCorps, you should. The stories the organization presents are those from everyday people like you and me. These aren't celebrities or pundits or someone with an agenda. They're just people who have experienced something we can all appreciate. 

Here's how StoryCorps describes itself: 

StoryCorps is an independent nonprofit whose mission is to provide Americans of all backgrounds and beliefs with the opportunity to record, share, and preserve the stories of our lives. Since 2003, StoryCorps has collected and archived more than 40,000 interviews from nearly 80,000 participants. Each conversation is recorded on a free CD to share, and is preserved at the American Folklife Center at the Library of Congress. 

Today, StoryCorps brought us the story of Harvey Hilbert. As I  expected he might, Harvey made me cry. I know next to nothing about Harvey Hilbert, but after this morning, I feel like I want to know more. I feel as if I at least want to extend my hand and say, "It's been a pleasure meeting you." I somehow feel entitled to do as such. That's how much Harvey Hilbert moved me. I'm sure the same is true of most people who know a veteran or are historically familiar with war. The stories are epic. Heroic. Tragic. Intense. Tear inducing.

Ahead of Veterans' Day on Sunday, Harvey's story is one worth listening to. It's one worth remembering. It's one worth sharing. It's one that's definitely worth paying respect to. 

Unfortunately, there are too many Harvey Hilberts in the world. Too many men and women who have been wounded physically and mentally in combat. Too many who have had to endure pain the rest of their lives after returning home. Too many who have had to live with the fact that many of their friends and comrades didn't make it home. 

If for no other reason that their pain and their sacrifice and their commitment and the incredibly bravery their summoned up to put their lives on the line before, during, and after combat, they deserve our appreciation and respect. 

Listen to Harvey Hilbert's story here. 

Read Harvey Hilbert's story here. 

Day 312: The Night Shift

Mine is a family in which one spouse (not me) works the overnight shift. At least from my perspective, the arrangement bites. While my wife is sleeping during the day, I'm a work. While she's at work, I'm sleeping. When I come home from work, off she goes to her job. Ours is a "hello, goodbye" arrangement pretty much, which blows. 

Fortunately, this isn't an everyday occurrence. There is a upside. 

My wife is a nurse, which as any nurse can tell you, means she has a wacky schedule that defies logic to anyone other than another nurse. She tends to work a lot of hours in short bunches and then has a lot of days off in between. Herein lies the upside. Keeping track of when those days fall, however, requires a master's degree in organization, and I'm still stuck in kindergarten where that's concerned. 

Why work at night? One, she's like it. Two, it pays better. Three and probably most important, it works out for our family schedule-wise in terms of getting kids to school, picking up kids from school, etc. It really comes down to practicality. As is the case with any good mother and father, it's a matter of sacrificing personal betterment for the betterment of the whole. 

For my wife, the sacrifice is primarily a major hit to sleep on nights she works. She regularly flows between a "normal" day schedule when not working to a night schedule when she does. That requires regularly staying up 24-plus hours to make the transition. I couldn't do it. On weekends when she works, it means combating a house full of kids and dogs and cats and whatever other forces are at work making incessant noise while she tries to slumber. I couldn't do it. On school days, it's arguably worse, as she has to somehow stay awake long enough, after already being up 24 hours, to get our wee one off to preschool before she can collapse and hopefully catch some ZZZs. I couldn't do it. 

As much as I dislike our dueling work schedules, it does give me scads of one-on-one time with my little one. Sometimes, I feel like my vocabulary is regressing at alarming rates because of such, but I know the hours we spend together is going to pay off down the road. We're forming a bond that will overcome the inevitable squabbles bond to surface. 

The arrangement also means I have plenty of time to play guitar without worrying about who I may be offending. I can also watch pretty much any crappy, violent, nonsensical movie or TV show I want without worries of judgement or mockery entering the scene. And did I mention that there's no obstructions to making late-night snack runs? 

Still, those pluses pale in comparison to the minuses of sleeping alone and talking to the walls.  But here's the deal, we have a two-income family. Some families that want that don't. We work in the fields we trained for. Most never even get to train. We make the best of the situation. Many people let the situation dictate the worst. Most positive is that the arrangement isn't permanent. I know so many people who spent their lives stuck in a crappy occupation they detested. Our arrangement is by choice. 

Still, cuddling up next to a dog with stinky breath just isn't the same as the missus. 

Day 311: Bitterness Swallowed; Yum Yum

Earlier today, I started writing this post, filling it with a big bunch of words that oozed with all forms of negativity. I mean, they were dripping with beads of spite and anger and bitterness and mean-spirited intent the size of basketballs. And I have to admit, it felt damn good to stringing those words together. Damn good. 

But the more I thought about them, the less satisfying they began to feel. There's something to said for the spur of the moment and letting it fuel you. There's also something to be said of taking the time to reflect. Today, the more I pondered those words, the more I asked if they really were going to do anyone other than myself any good. It didn't take long to realize the answer to that question was obvious. Nope, not much. 

To make matters worse, nearly all the words I compiled were reactionary. They were more or less just sentences that I created to lash out at people who have been pissing me off---with their own words, with the opinions and half-baked theories they've been forcing down the throats of anyone unfortunate enough to be in their midst. I have to say, though, I really like some of those sentences. Despite a year of attempting to be positive, I still do my best work when I'm angry and up in arms. I'm a fighter (with words at least). I'm not a loverboy so much. 

I especially like fighting blowhards and knuckleheads and dimwits who speak from a self-serving foundation. I don't like people who throw their Biblical passages at me as if I'm in need of their sympathy or saving. I don't like ego-maniacal muscleheads who bully people into "knowing their place." I don't like people who tell me how much I do or don't care for the troops. I don't like people telling me the worth of a man when they've shown no worth to themselves, their family, their community, or their country in their own right. I don't like sore losers, people who spew empty threats, or uninformed hypocrites who ignore history to their favor.

But you know what? Being reactionary is to be without discipline. Without focus. Being reactionary is to stray. 

Maybe it's the fact that I'm punch drunk from the election or that I'm sleep-deprived or I'm just feeling ornery, but I woke up today ready to willingly throw down. But funny things started to happen throughout the day to make me re-evaluate my moronic reactionary positions. 

Things like the three deer that nearly steamrolled me along the trail at lunch as I ran. "Dude," they said, "you're on our turf, you're tiny, you're insignificant to us, and you need to know your role and witness our beauty." And I did. 

Things like my little girl greeting me with a hug and a genuine smile as I walked through the door, telling me how much she hates my job because it keeps us from playing all day, and that she loved me. Love and innocence makes everything brighter and better. 

Things like my oldest kid learning today that he got a job in a field that he loves and has always wanted to explore. An opportunity. A chance. A beginning. A door opening. A future. Excitement. Hope. 

I guess it donned on me that if you're not helping the ship stay afloat, you're part of the dead weight that's sinking it. I'd rather the boat stayed above water. 

There are plenty of people I'm never going to respect, and I accept that. And although I'm not proud of it, I'll probably even take a little joy in watching them suffer a little bit on a day like this when they've been so loud and so hateful and so demonstrative and unrestrained for so many weeks and months prior. But I'm fairly certain one of these election years in the future, it will be my turn to have that bad day. I'd hope that when that day comes, I'll not bitch and whine and carry on about the injustice or offer up conspiracy theories as to how such a travesty occurred. I hope I'll instead respect the fact that the majority didn't agree with my stance. It would be nice, though, that when such a time arrives, some a-hole doesn't start popping off by writing a bunch of words, declaring how little he thinks and feels for me. 

So, I'm going that route today. I'm not going to fan the flames. I'm not going to partake in the sour grapes being offered up. I'm not going to feed the monster. Rather, I'm going to give this grace and dignity and higher road stuff I hear others talk about a try and see where it takes me. 

Day 310: 10 People I'd Like To Rock The Vote With

Pablo Picasso 

 

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. 

Lemmy Kilmister 

Sylvia Plath 

Junior Kimbrough

Abe Lincoln 

I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crises. The great point is to bring them the real facts.

Timothy Leary

Wilt Chamberlain 

March 2, 1962:

48 minutes/ 36 Field Goals Made/ 63 Field Goals Attempted/ 28 Free Throws Made/ 32 Free Throws Attempted/ 25 Rebounds/ 2 Assists/ 2 Personal Fouls/ 100 Points

Lifetime:

Sex with 20,000 women

Farrah Fawcett

Mad Dog Vachon 

Bobcat Goldthwait 

Day 309: "Slacker," The Movie That Keeps On Giving

Whenever someone asks me what my favorite all-time movie is, I typically waver between answering with one of four films. Depending on where I am at in my life and how I'm feeling at that particular minute, I'll either answer with "The Godfather" (if I'm feeling a tad bit violent and especially fond and protective of my family), "Razor's Edge" (a wonderful non-comedy film from Bill Murray that always makes me rethink my life and its purpose), "High Fidelity" (because music means more to me than anything else in life, and this film is filled with characters who feel the same way), or "Slacker." 

"Slacker" is Richard Linklater's first major film release, and I learned today it became available on YouTube for free viewing. "Slacker" went a long way toward helping create the "indie" movie scene that thrives today, but it also went a long way to making me the weirdo I'm pretty fond of. 

You probably know Linklater from directing "Dazed and Confused" (also awesome), "Waking Life" (artistically beautiful), "Scanner Darkly" (the jury is still out for me), and "The School of Rock" (the first film that fit Jack Black like a glove). But "Slacker," it's special. Oh so very special. At least to me. 

I saw "Slacker" at The Ross Theater way back in the day. That was the only place in Lincoln you could see it. We're talking a very obscure film where the masses where concerned. This wasn't mall or movie complex material. My girlfriend at the time took me, and I vividly remember as walking into the theater thinking, "What the hell am I getting myself into here?" But damn if "Slacker," just like about everything else in my life that has ended up pleasantly surprising me, didn't turn my world upside down. 

I still think of that girl when I think of "Slacker," and I give her major credit for opening my eyes to a whole new world that didn't exist prior. Maybe it was because I wasn't a terribly enlightened soul at the time, but "Slacker" made me see and feel things that never appeared in the fabric before. In short, the movie sent me down philosophical roads that I'd like to think I still travel upon, or at least try to. 

I haven't met too many people over the years that have watched "Slacker." I've forced a couple of people to view it with me over the years, and pretty much every time has ended with the same reaction: "Uh, that . . . was . . . different." But I'm cool with that. I've learned over time that many of the things I gravitate to aren't available for mass consumption. Often, sharing something full of light and wisdom and potential is better done on a small scale. Not everything is meant for everyone. "Slacker" is definitely one of those movies. 

I've often thought over the years and the repeated viewings of this movie about what it is I like so much. A big part of my love stems from the constant movement that exists in the film. There are no "scenes." Every minute just flows into the next, but it all fits together seamlessly. Just like life. There's seemingly no start and no stop. 

A big part of my love is also due to the theme (if there indeed is one) that there's no hurry to life. Examination happens at its own pace. Responsibility, my friends, isn't always something to aspire it. Broadening one's base, however, almost always is. "Slacker" exudes that mentality. 

Certainly, "Slacker" appeals to me immensely because of its quirkiness. I'm a big believer in the quirky. I like music that resides "left of the dial." I love ideas that float left or right of center. I like people who don't follow convention. I like those who stray and explore and daydream and form hypotheses that are simultaneously impossible and definite. Up until "Slacker," I wouldn't say I was a devoted traveler of the mainstream, but I didn't venture too far away from it that I couldn't make my way back. "Slacker" completely and utterly blasted a new trail for me, one that I didn't care where it took me. I haven't been interested in getting off that path since I got on it some 20-plus years later, either. 

Different entities and different people enter your life at different times for different reasons. The key, I believe, is always having your eyes open so that you're prepared to recognize them when they do come knocking, and then for God's sake, let them in. Let them in.

Day 308; Lead The "Leaders"

The biggest favor I did myself this week was watch "60 Minutes." In addition to a fantastic feature with the great historian/author David McCollough, who gave me, Morley Shaffer, and anyone watching a true history lesson on elections, presidents, and our founding fathers, the opening segment reaffirmed yet once again what pisses me off endlessly about politics. 

No, it's not my differences with republicans. No, it's not politicians in general. (I once argued many years ago in what turned out to be an all-night debate over a camp fire that I inherently believed politicians had good intentions at heart.) What pisses me off endlessly about politics is partisanship and just how many people have been hookwinked into believing that this is the way modern politics is supposed to operate. It's not.

Our leaders are supposed to be elected to lead us, all of us. Above all, they are supposed to be elected by the people to serve the people and put in place what's best for all the people. All the people. Above all else, they are elected to create solutions to fix the problems that affect the country. They are elected to come together, work together, think together, and compromise together to put what's wrong right. They aren't elected to make certain the residing president of the country is not re-elected. They aren't elected to ensure they themselves are re-elected. They aren't elected to carry the party line, to vote with the party. They are elected to represent their constituents and enact change that benefits the people. Country over party. 

Want to know on just how massive of a scale the Senate is currently failing, read or watch the "Is The U.S. Senate Broken?" segment on "60 Minutes." What used to be known as "the world's greatest deliberative body," reports Steve Croft, is today known for "deadlock, dysfunction, and political gamesmanship." 

How bad has it gotten? Maine Sen. Olympia Snowe, a Republican with 33 years experience, quit her re-election race earlier this year when she determined "that the partisanship that dominates Washington, D.C., was unlikely to change." 

How bad has it gotten? Hell, I'm finding myself kneeling before conservative Sen. Tom Coburn, a conservative from my own state's long-time rival Oklahoma, because he's making more sense and seems to have more integrity and logic than anyone on the political scene. What are Coburn's feelings on the job the Senate is currently doing? How about this from an August article: 

"I think I'm probably at the highest level of frustration I've ever been since I've been in Washington," said the two-term senator, who plans to leave Congress in 2016, under a self-imposed term limit.

"Everybody says we can't do anything before the election, we might not get reelected. Well why the heck did we come here if it wasn't to fix problems?" Coburn demanded.

Coburn may be one of the few people in Washington -- in all of American politics -- who refuses to accept the status quo in an election year.

When he points out that "the problems are obvious," he's obviously correct. The national debt is approaching $16 trillion, the government has run four straight trillion-dollar deficits, the economy is stalled again and the tax code has become so unpredictable due to short-term fixes that the expiration of multiple patch-like measures at the end of the year has come to be known as "the fiscal cliff."

There are democrats that are disgusted as well. Consider this segment from the "60 Minutes" piece: 

Former Indiana Sen. Evan Bayh, another moderate gave up his safe Democratic seat and a promising Senate career two years ago. His father, Birch Bayh, had also been a U.S. senator, and he grew up around the institution when it was a more collegial and less partisan place. The two-time governor and one-time Democratic presidential aspirant said he became disillusioned with the Senate when "brain dead ideology" began to take precedence over "principled compromise."

Evan Bayh: Everything is so short-term, politically tactical. It's all, "How do we win the next vote? How do we, you know, win the next news cycle? How do we win the next election?"

Bayh told us he particularly disliked going to the weekly Senate Democratic caucus lunches.

Evan Bayh: And a lot of those lunches are about, "OK, we're a team. We gotta stick together. We gotta beat the daylights out of the other side. We can't afford anybody straying from the team. If you do, that doesn't help us."

Steve Kroft: What happens if you buck the leadership?

Evan Bayh: Well, you buck the party line, there's a price to be paid. What used to be seen as an act of statesmanship trying to forge consensus across the aisle to move the country forward is now viewed by many as a betrayal of your party. So you get senators who vote with their party 95 percent, 98 percent of the time. And they're being run out because some people think, "that's not enough."

Steve Kroft: Why has it been so difficult to compromise?

Tom Coburn: It's leadership. It's pure leadership. When the goal is always to win the next election, rather than to put the country on the right course, whether it's a Republican leading it or the-- a Democrat leading it, the Senate is not going to work.

So, what can we do about it? As McCollough said, we should treat candidates in the same way we treat going to the theater. Critically. In other words, in the same way you analyze a movie, a TV show, or a meal, you should do the same to your representatives. If they're doing a "punk" job, to paraphrase McCollough, spread the word. Let me know. Don't elect them. 

If we don't, we're the ones that will suffer. Our children will suffer. And so will theirs. 

Here's how the republican Coburn sees the situation, and I can't say I disagree (and that's saying something coming from a tree-hugging liberal.) 

"The country's bankrupt, we're seeing it unfold in Europe. We're going to see it unfold elsewhere, and it's going to come to us," he said. "What we have on both sides of the aisle are groups of people who refuse to make the hard choices. And so the country suffers."

"What we lack," he says, "is leadership."