People deal with death in many ways. I'm not really sure how I do it honestly. It's not consistent, I know that. That makes sense I guess, considering we're just naturally closer to some people who die than to others and the loss is felt much more intensely and the impact far greater.
Some deaths have been much harder than others to deal with, although every person that I've known who has died impacted me in some way or another. I was eight when my grandfather died, and I didn't really know him. Personally, I don't remember feeling the loss. I do remember seeing how it affected my dad and how much that touched me, and that vision has never left me. When I was in my early 20s, the sports editor at the newspaper I was working at died. I had only known him for a year or so, but I remember feeling remarkably impacted by his passing for some reason. Maybe it was the time and place. Maybe it was because I was entering adulthood. I'm not sure.
I'm also not sure if it's worse to learn about a death that happened unexpectedly or learn about someone who is well on the path toward dying. Recently, a person I knew fairly well at one time and spent a lot of hours playing basketball with died unexpectedly. I'm still trying to make sense of that. I found myself hurting not only for his family and myself, but possibly more for his very close friends, several who I know very well. It's hard seeing pain register on your friends' faces. It's especially difficult when you haven't witnessed that pain too often previously.
What I've learned about death is that you can learn something from each life that has passed on. I'm not one to say death should be a celebration, but I am someone who believes death should be a learning experience. Death can help you learn a lot about yourself. It can redirect you. Repurpose you. It can rededicate your intentions. Death can put a sense of urgency within your heart and mind and lead you to do and say the things you should do and say daily but don't. Death can instigate reflections and inspections. It should be a time to place value on the relationship you shared with the one who has passed and how you can use that to make your current relationship better and more fulfilling for both parties.
A couple years back an elderly man in my church who I liked very much died. Upon his death, I learned more about him than I did while he was alive. He was very humble and very kind, and his first words to me were always a question concerning how I was doing. In other words, he didn't talk much about himself or the many, many accomplishments I later learned about after his death. I think I learned a lot from his death about how to carry yourself and how to behave and how to make someone's else experience more joyful and beneficial by taking the attention off yourself and placing it outward.
Death isn't easy. It also doesn't have to be for nothing.
Some deaths have been much harder than others to deal with, although every person that I've known who has died impacted me in some way or another. I was eight when my grandfather died, and I didn't really know him. Personally, I don't remember feeling the loss. I do remember seeing how it affected my dad and how much that touched me, and that vision has never left me. When I was in my early 20s, the sports editor at the newspaper I was working at died. I had only known him for a year or so, but I remember feeling remarkably impacted by his passing for some reason. Maybe it was the time and place. Maybe it was because I was entering adulthood. I'm not sure.
I'm also not sure if it's worse to learn about a death that happened unexpectedly or learn about someone who is well on the path toward dying. Recently, a person I knew fairly well at one time and spent a lot of hours playing basketball with died unexpectedly. I'm still trying to make sense of that. I found myself hurting not only for his family and myself, but possibly more for his very close friends, several who I know very well. It's hard seeing pain register on your friends' faces. It's especially difficult when you haven't witnessed that pain too often previously.
What I've learned about death is that you can learn something from each life that has passed on. I'm not one to say death should be a celebration, but I am someone who believes death should be a learning experience. Death can help you learn a lot about yourself. It can redirect you. Repurpose you. It can rededicate your intentions. Death can put a sense of urgency within your heart and mind and lead you to do and say the things you should do and say daily but don't. Death can instigate reflections and inspections. It should be a time to place value on the relationship you shared with the one who has passed and how you can use that to make your current relationship better and more fulfilling for both parties.
A couple years back an elderly man in my church who I liked very much died. Upon his death, I learned more about him than I did while he was alive. He was very humble and very kind, and his first words to me were always a question concerning how I was doing. In other words, he didn't talk much about himself or the many, many accomplishments I later learned about after his death. I think I learned a lot from his death about how to carry yourself and how to behave and how to make someone's else experience more joyful and beneficial by taking the attention off yourself and placing it outward.
Death isn't easy. It also doesn't have to be for nothing.
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