Day 159: Moved To Tears (Almost)

To be honest, I started writing today’s entry on a subject that had a completely smart-assed tone about it. Sarcastic and snarky and probably even a bit degrading, and all really for no particularly good reason other than I haven’t been in a really good mood today and I was making myself feel better by demeaning others. Really, what I was writing wasn’t worth the time I was spending on it, and it wouldn’t have progressed me or anyone else in the least.

Then about midway through the pile of crap I was stringing together, off to the left of where I sit at work, I watched a man who is retiring today get up from his desk and start making his way to the door, leaving the building for the last time as an employee. Along the way, he stopped to shake the hand or give a hug to every man and woman in his department, many of whom I know he has worked with for probably close to 20 years or more. After he gave the last hug, which went to his long-time manager, everyone in his department stood up and gave him a round of applause. Now, maybe this is common occurrence where some people work, but it’s a scene that I haven’t witnessed in my 15 years working where I do or anywhere else for that matter.

I sat at my desk, witnessing the entire scene play out with an almost surreal sense of wonder. In all honesty, it moved me—not quite to tears but almost. I couldn’t help but wonder what the man was feeling as he greeted each man and woman. Regret. Relief. Excitement. Uncertainty. Fear. Optimism. I couldn’t help but wonder what he would be thinking when he reached his car, got in, and sat alone in the parking lot while all the people he just said goodbye to picked back up with their duties and carried on. What would the ride home be like? What would Monday morning bring? Was he reflecting on past year or potting future ones? I wondered all this despite my only interactions with him being pretty much limited to an occasional “hello” while passing each other in the hallway.  

It’s moments like these that make me believe and trust that there is a greater force working in the world, a force that would take the effort to refocus the pathetic thoughts that were working in my mind and churning out worthless tripe of good to no one into thoughts being formed by witnessing a genuinely moving, touching moment—a moment overflowing with history and newness. Life is strange, and it’s strange how life can bring acquaintances and strangers together in a manner that they can share the same moment in drastically different ways. I’m not exactly sure what I’m feeling right now, but I know that I’m in a whole lot better place than I was before.