Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Day 44: Thoughts On Valentine's Day

People say spending Christmas alone is the craps. I'd say spending Valentine's Day alone is worse. I've experience in this department. I've spent plenty a V-Day solo, and it bites. It bites seeing those around you reveling in their flowers and candy and cards and stuffed animals and the emotion and attention and everything else that goes with being romantic and expressing love.

Charlie Brown was no sucker; he was just unlucky. He deserved a cool girlfriend as much as the next guy. I  sympathized with Chuck those years I spent V-Day reading a book or watching some crappy sitcom vs. sharing a candlelit dinner and so on. Spending V-Day alone is unwanted solitude. It's a hard pill to swallow. Some years I'd buy myself a box of chocolates and tell myself, "It's cool, man. You'll find someone some day when the time was right." Accepting that as truth took a beverage or 20 to wash down, but I tried to believe. I once went through a dry spell that lasted a couple years where not only didn't I have a Valentine on Valentine's Day, I didn't have a flippin' single date. Not one. I know about loneliness, people. It's crippling if you let it. So don't.

That's why it's so important to take nothing for granted. It's even more important to express your fortune.

I'm so thankful for my wife and the ability to share this day with her and all the rest, too. I'll always remember the effort she went to years ago back in our old house on Judson catering a meal for us, a meal we actually got to share alone, sans kids. She's provided a lot of answers and solutions and comfort and purpose for my life, none the least being how she filled that sprawling chasm of loneliness that once existed. I'm a lucky man, and I'm privileged to state as much publicly.

I'm also so grateful for my children and watching them grow and turn into the beautiful people they have become. They possess such great minds and hearts, and I'm so proud of their creative personalities and their acceptance and tolerance of all races and creeds of people. They teach me lessons continually, and I'm not embarrassed whatsoever to admit that a father can learn as much from his children as they hopefully learn from him. You're wonderful children, and I should tell you all that more often.

If you're spending this day alone and struggling, my heart is with you. I have no advice or suggestions to ease that discomfort. I can only say suck it up, survive the day, and take any steps possible to change your situation if you so desire. Take risks. Show some vulnerability. Improve your station. Believe in your self and what you have to offer. Trust. Make it happen. Believe.

I'm not certain where love originates or what constitutes love or how to even recognize it. I do believe, though, no one is excluded from obtaining it.


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