Monday, April 9, 2012

Day 99: True To Thyself

I've found that no matter who  you are, where you live, who you surround yourself with, where you venture, what you do for a living, and so on, people are always testing you. They test your convictions. They test your patience. They test your morals and morale. They test your virtue. They test you character. They test your strength and intelligence. People are always testing you. Always pushing and prodding to find out what you're made of or what you lack. They test your endurance. They test your trust. They test your memory. They test your decision making. People live to test others.

At least for me, the key is not refusing to take the tests. The key is not caring what score I get. My every last intention is to stick on the path that I've chosen. I've chosen that path for a reason. I know what's on the path. I know where the path began. I may not know where it will end, but I believe I know what I'll find when I read the conclusion, and I believe I know that's what I desire.

If someone wants to knock me off the path, so be it. I expect it. Sometimes, I even welcome the challenge. If someone is persistent and makes it his or her mission to make me forget my way, so much so that he or she neglects to get on their own path, too bad for them. My job is to keep stepping back on the path and keep taking steps. My job is to believe in why I'm on the path. Trust in the path. Be part of the path. Know that I'm on it for a reason and that despite those who would take pleasure in preventing my from taking another step, I don't have time to oblige their fancies. I've work to do. I've learning to do. I've enlightenment to obtain. The tests are part of that enlightenment. Taking time to contemplate the intent behind the tests or waiting around for their judgment aren't.

I have nothing against a challenge or forced reflection, but when it's misguide or full of contempt or delivered with malice, that's another story. I have fewer years ahead of me than behind. I can't waste my moments wondering off on side tangents that don't lead anywhere other than straight into a wall, possibly the same walls I've already run into. I'll take your tests when I deem them worthy. But I won't wait around for you to total my score. I'm not concerned in the least with your grade. Save it for someone who wants to be lost. 

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