There are certain people in certain times in certain situations that find their way under my skin and touch the rawest nerve I possess. I wish more than anything I could avoid those people. I wish there was a mechanism I could switch on or off and be rid of those people. I wish I had a time machine in the garage that I could climb in and transport my way to a better time and place. A place free of people who irritate me. Who rub me raw. But I can't. None of us can. We can only hope that we surround ourselves with enough people to balance that out. When it doesn't work, you live through the circumstances as best as possible and move on.
I'd like to believe I could tackle these unavoidable confrontations with such people with calmness and dignity and level-headiness, but it doesn't always work out that way. Sometimes, I let my emotions take over. I have little problem with facing most confrontations. I don't seek them out, but I'm not afraid of them, either. I'm not afraid of tackling issues head on. Some people are. Others avoid confrontation for all it's worth. Some people like confrontation as long as they only have to deal with one aspect of it--the part where they're dealing out all the cards and forcing their views and actions for everyone to follow. I've found, though, that these people don't like to play the shitty cards they've been dealt. They're more apt to fold them than to play the game out.
Take people who like to dole out moral, righteous advice like they're dishing out candy, for example. They're fine with confrontation until it's their turn to be on the receiving end. People who give me advice about raising kids but who don't have kids themselves, for instance, crack me up. And by crack me up, I mean piss me off. Also high on my list of people I could do without are those who preach on and on in a superior, smug tone but don't actually apply any self-realism to the words. Just a lot of hot air. They crack me up, too. And by crack me up, I mean humor me. And people who give me advice about raising kids who not only don't have kids but also don't follow the same advice they're willing to hand out, well, I really don't have much use for them at all. But worse yet are the people who hand out the advice, unsolicited mind you, but don't want to hear advice for them in return, which would be, "Thanks, but keep it to yourself." It's amazing how thin-skinned people who incessantly poke and prod and nitpick and spew their moral indignation really are. People who criticize, it seems, are absolutely incapable of taking criticism. Incapable.
The thing is I should be at a point by now where I can just let matters like that pass through one ear and go out the other without it even making a blimp. For some reason, there are those days when I can't. It's the hypocrisy that sucks me in. I have a hard time swallowing hypocrisy. And seemingly, there's so much to swallow. Some days I choke on it and barely make it back up to the surface. I have a hard time with people who don't live by a code. Who instead live by moving from one self-serving situation to another until they find the one that suits them just swell. Take a little from here. Take a little from there. Give nothing there. Give nothing here. The hypocrisy cripples me. And I should be past it. But it's hard. It's hard when people take and take but contribute little to nothing but want a equal voice. It's hard when people live off the hard work of others but want to pretend we have everything in common. That we stand on equal ground. That our aim is the same. It's not. Never was.
I should be past giving too much attention to too many people who don't deserve it. It's a flaw I need to work on. Not for them. For me. I'm pretty much to the point where I'm concerned with looking forward and not back. Looking ahead and obtaining what I want to obtain. I'm not really interested in dead weight. It's gotten to be too much of a burden to carry, and my back is beginning to hurt.
Carry your own weight.
Make your own way.
Just save your advice.
I'd like to believe I could tackle these unavoidable confrontations with such people with calmness and dignity and level-headiness, but it doesn't always work out that way. Sometimes, I let my emotions take over. I have little problem with facing most confrontations. I don't seek them out, but I'm not afraid of them, either. I'm not afraid of tackling issues head on. Some people are. Others avoid confrontation for all it's worth. Some people like confrontation as long as they only have to deal with one aspect of it--the part where they're dealing out all the cards and forcing their views and actions for everyone to follow. I've found, though, that these people don't like to play the shitty cards they've been dealt. They're more apt to fold them than to play the game out.
Take people who like to dole out moral, righteous advice like they're dishing out candy, for example. They're fine with confrontation until it's their turn to be on the receiving end. People who give me advice about raising kids but who don't have kids themselves, for instance, crack me up. And by crack me up, I mean piss me off. Also high on my list of people I could do without are those who preach on and on in a superior, smug tone but don't actually apply any self-realism to the words. Just a lot of hot air. They crack me up, too. And by crack me up, I mean humor me. And people who give me advice about raising kids who not only don't have kids but also don't follow the same advice they're willing to hand out, well, I really don't have much use for them at all. But worse yet are the people who hand out the advice, unsolicited mind you, but don't want to hear advice for them in return, which would be, "Thanks, but keep it to yourself." It's amazing how thin-skinned people who incessantly poke and prod and nitpick and spew their moral indignation really are. People who criticize, it seems, are absolutely incapable of taking criticism. Incapable.
The thing is I should be at a point by now where I can just let matters like that pass through one ear and go out the other without it even making a blimp. For some reason, there are those days when I can't. It's the hypocrisy that sucks me in. I have a hard time swallowing hypocrisy. And seemingly, there's so much to swallow. Some days I choke on it and barely make it back up to the surface. I have a hard time with people who don't live by a code. Who instead live by moving from one self-serving situation to another until they find the one that suits them just swell. Take a little from here. Take a little from there. Give nothing there. Give nothing here. The hypocrisy cripples me. And I should be past it. But it's hard. It's hard when people take and take but contribute little to nothing but want a equal voice. It's hard when people live off the hard work of others but want to pretend we have everything in common. That we stand on equal ground. That our aim is the same. It's not. Never was.
I should be past giving too much attention to too many people who don't deserve it. It's a flaw I need to work on. Not for them. For me. I'm pretty much to the point where I'm concerned with looking forward and not back. Looking ahead and obtaining what I want to obtain. I'm not really interested in dead weight. It's gotten to be too much of a burden to carry, and my back is beginning to hurt.
Carry your own weight.
Make your own way.
Just save your advice.
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