I'm feeling seriously sleep-deprived today. I'm tired. The kind of tired that makes it difficult to think long enough to string more than a few words together without making tyop after tpyo after ytpo. I'm used to a certain lack of sleep. My wife is, as well. Our lives are weird and strange and chaotic and demanding and filled with stress and tension and responsibilities--pretty much like everyone else's lives, so there's no complaining about it. No whining. Just dealing with it. Accepting it. Taking it as it comes and living with the headaches that literally come from not getting enough ZZZZs. It is what it is.
The positive side of lacking missing hours of sleep is that sometimes the reason it occurs is because I was providing comfort, namely to a child. Such was the case last night. I heard my little girl crying in her bed and was compelled to find out why. My wife is not any different in this regard, and she would have been the one to go to her aid if only she had heard her first, which is a great many cases she does. The worst sound in the world to me is a child crying in there bed in the middle of the night. It's never for a good reason. I suspect a nightmare was the source of my baby's discomfort last night. Sometimes it's because she's ill or wakes up in the dark confused or lonely. Whatever the reason, when I hear a cry in the middle of the night, it shoots a panic alarm off in my soul that's unlike any other feeling I've experienced. Last night wasn't filled with that type of panic, just the same amount of concern.
The greatest feeling in the world for me as a parent is helping a child fall back to sleep. Just stroking their hair, humming or singing, telling a story, or even crawling into bed, snuggling up, and falling asleep for a few hours yourself. What power. What a gift. What a true means to relay compassion and warmth and security. That's all kids are looking for in a parent, after all, comfort and security. They just want to feel that everything is OK. They don't necessarily want to hear it. They want to feel it. They want to know the adult in their room is going to chase the shadow away. They want to know the mommy can explain what that noise was. They want the daddy to be there at the ready, willing to face down any dangers that should enter the door. They just a big, warm arm wrapped around them to keep them nice and tidy for a few hours. They want logic explained in a way they can understand.
I don't function well without sleep. I'm pretty pathetic in fact. I make mistakes. I'm irritable. I slack and fall behind. My head hurts. My eyes can't focus. I'm a general mess. But I'll willingly go without if it means giving a few more hours back to a child. She deserves it, and I know she'll do the same for her kids.
The positive side of lacking missing hours of sleep is that sometimes the reason it occurs is because I was providing comfort, namely to a child. Such was the case last night. I heard my little girl crying in her bed and was compelled to find out why. My wife is not any different in this regard, and she would have been the one to go to her aid if only she had heard her first, which is a great many cases she does. The worst sound in the world to me is a child crying in there bed in the middle of the night. It's never for a good reason. I suspect a nightmare was the source of my baby's discomfort last night. Sometimes it's because she's ill or wakes up in the dark confused or lonely. Whatever the reason, when I hear a cry in the middle of the night, it shoots a panic alarm off in my soul that's unlike any other feeling I've experienced. Last night wasn't filled with that type of panic, just the same amount of concern.
The greatest feeling in the world for me as a parent is helping a child fall back to sleep. Just stroking their hair, humming or singing, telling a story, or even crawling into bed, snuggling up, and falling asleep for a few hours yourself. What power. What a gift. What a true means to relay compassion and warmth and security. That's all kids are looking for in a parent, after all, comfort and security. They just want to feel that everything is OK. They don't necessarily want to hear it. They want to feel it. They want to know the adult in their room is going to chase the shadow away. They want to know the mommy can explain what that noise was. They want the daddy to be there at the ready, willing to face down any dangers that should enter the door. They just a big, warm arm wrapped around them to keep them nice and tidy for a few hours. They want logic explained in a way they can understand.
I don't function well without sleep. I'm pretty pathetic in fact. I make mistakes. I'm irritable. I slack and fall behind. My head hurts. My eyes can't focus. I'm a general mess. But I'll willingly go without if it means giving a few more hours back to a child. She deserves it, and I know she'll do the same for her kids.
No comments:
Post a Comment